


Ephemeral

by sequoiastars



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Comfort/Angst, Death, Fluff and Angst, Funeral, I hurt myself writing this, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, im sorry for this, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25172482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sequoiastars/pseuds/sequoiastars
Summary: e·phem·er·al/əˈfem(ə)rəl/Learn to pronounceadjectivelasting for a very short time.After Yamaguchi got into a fatal car crash, Tsukishima realized how much of their relationship he took for granted.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	Ephemeral

e·phem·er·al  
/əˈfem(ə)rəl/  
Learn to pronounce  
adjective  
lasting for a very short time. 

The grey clouds had started to move in, covering up the bright blue sky that was supposed to be present. Although, the stormy weather was much more appropriate for the events that would have to follow. The atmosphere was misty, producing a mysterious yet depressing environment. 

"We're here." 

Tsukishima handed the taxi driver the owed money for the trip as he opened the side doors to get out. He looked around and let out a heavy sigh while he heard the cab start driving away. Flipping over his wrist to take a glance at his wristwatch, he saw that he was right on time. As he noticed the heavy fog around the area, he realized that wasn't the only heavy thing. For the first time since the accident, it suddenly hit him that this was actually happening. The shock had taken Tsukishima quite a while to get over, but now that he was actually here, he wished that he could go back into shock.

He reminded himself that if he took too long thinking, he'd end up being late. So, he started walking along the dirt pathway that lead up to the funeral home where the ceremony would take place. He reluctantly pushed open the door, not exactly ready to face the eerie feeling that would be inside. The interior was just as bland as the exterior. It wasn't anything flashy or special, probably normal for a place where thousands have mourned. Most of the chairs inside the building were still empty, most of the guests hadn't arrived yet. Up at the front was a microphone stand in case anyone had any last messages, but the most noticeable thing was the wooden casket in front of the microphone. 

At the sight of the casket, Tsukishima felt his body freeze up. A shiver made its way down his spine, causing him to shake slightly. He collected himself and walked through the aisle to find a seat. He sat down near the middle so he wouldn't stand out during the ceremony. Just as he was settling in, he felt a sudden tap on his shoulder. He jumped around to find Sugawara standing behind him.

"Sorry if I scared you," Sugawara said as he sat down on the bench behind Tsukishima, "How are you holding up?"

Tsukishima tensed, he was hoping that nobody would ask that today. He knew he wasn't prepared to acknowledge his feelings, he was doing pretty well the past few days by pushing those feelings deep down. He knew Sugawara had good intentions by checking in on him, but it really wasn't what he needed right now. Once again, he 

"I'm fine." 

Sugawara definitely wasn't convinced, but he left the subject alone and went to greet the other people walking in. Tsukishima was grateful, if Sugawara had continued to pester him about it he wasn't sure if he could handle it. At this point, more people were filing into the venue, lots of familiar faces entered with solemn looks on their faces. He glanced over at the door so see Hinata walking in. Surprisingly, he actually knew the seriousness of the event and wore a suit. Tsukishima crossed his fingers that Hinata wouldn't sit next to him since he was walking in his direction. Unfortunately, Hinata decided to sit on the bench Tsukishima was on. 

"You okay?" Hinata asked 

"Obviously no." Tsukishima thought.

"I'm fine." Is what he actually said.

Hinata looked disappointed, and a little mad at the same time.

"Are you serious? Aren't you going to show any emotion at all?" Hinata pestered.

"I said, I'm fine." Tsukishima replied, more sternly this time. 

"I can't believe you. Yamaguchi is dead and THIS is how you react?" Hinata accused, with tears in his eyes. He ended up leaving Tsukishima alone and sat next to Kageyama near the front. 

The damage was already done. Tsukishima glanced over at the casket, he still couldn't grasp the idea of Yamaguchi, his best friend and soulmate, gone. Tsukishima started to agree with Hinata, why wasn't he reacting more? Why couldn't he have more emotions, did he not care about Yamaguchi enough? That wasn't it. Of course Tsukishima cared about Yamaguchi, he just didn't really show it a lot. Maybe other people didn't notice his affection, but Yamaguchi knew. Right? Tsukishima perused his brain, desperately trying to remember the last nice thing he did for Yamaguchi. The night they shared a milkshake at a cafe? No, he had reluctantly done that after Yamaguchi begged him a bunch. When they went stargazing at night? That was Yamaguchi's idea as well. The time when they hung out at the park? No, Tsukishima had been doing his homework the whole time, not paying attention to Yamaguchi. 

What about the night when they finally got together? Yamaguchi had given Tsukishima told him that he liked him and asked him out to a movie, and Tsukishima had said yes. That clearly showed affection right? No matter how hard Tsukishima tried to convince himself that he treated Yamaguchi well, he couldn't help feeling like he'd treated him badly by not giving him enough love like he deserved. And now, there wasn't anything to do about it. He would never be able to make it right anymore. Yamaguchi had died, and there was nothing Tsukishima could do about it. 

Tsukishima felt tears trailing down his cheek. He never deserved the love Yamaguchi gave him, and he would never be able to make it up to him ever again. He buried his face into his hands and tried to quiet his sobs. The short time that they were together were the happiest weeks of Tsukishima's life, and now he feared that he'd taken it all for granted.

He looked at the casket and whispered, "I miss you, Yamaguchi."


End file.
